Saturday, February 28, 2009

It's getting old!

Yes, Yes it's been a while. Sometimes I just don't feel like talking about this cancer crap. Really. So it makes it hard to write about it...but maybe I should write about why I don't feel like talking about it. It dominates my life, I am tired of having to worry about my health to be honest. I will do what I need to do to survive as long as I can but it sure does take it out of a person. I can honestly see why some people curl up and die with a cancer diagnosis. Psychologically it's hard, physically it's hard...I live with pain everyday. Ah! but it could be worse right. Yes, it could be. I am a strong person but man, it gets tough.OK for those of you that don't know, I had the cyberknife radiation done on the right 12th rib at the beginning of December and the left kidney right at the new year. I finally had CT scans yesterday 2/27...the lesion on the kidney is gone, or at least we couldn't see it any longer. The rib still has a mass but it appears dead...no blood flow to it or in it. That is the good news. The 5mm lung lesion has turned into three very small 5mm lung lesions. We did a quick look of the abdomen and didn't see anything else new. Still pending the radiologists report though.I will be consulting now with the local oncologist and my specialist at Vanderbilt next week really to decide which drug treatment to start. One is a pill, easy to take at home but potentially quality of life affecting side effects, the other is a once a week infusion that has less side effects and is better for bone metastasis but coordinating the infusion day with my work days and off days could get tricky as my work days rotate once a month, so eventually my off days are work days and I don't like to miss sleep and then work all night. We'll see.