Scanxiety

What is “scanxiety”? It when you are scared shitless of what the next scans may show. I’m off to the NIH tomorrow for post op scans and discussion about the rib lesion that shows on the bone scan. Do I have scanxiety? I don’t know, I’m a little nervous I guess, I want the rib thing to be the only thing so it can be dealt with as soon as possible. But the NIH may not do it unless I’m in a trial or I can sweet talk them into doing it.
I have a feeling HD IL2 is going to be brought up…it may be the best option while I’m strong and feeling well.
On top of this my wife had an “abnormal ” mamogram so she had to go back for more detailed imaging….now that was plain old anxiety…. the preliminary results show something but they are calling it benign. Somewhat of a relief but I think she should follow up with another radiologist to read the images. I am really happy for her though, we have enough going on. She would have been devastated as I would have been.
I took my family grubbin for gems in North Georgia last Saturday. Had good relaxing time sitting in a stream panning for gold and gemstones. Actually got some really cool raw gems, emeralds, topaz and others. It was fun. Trying to figure out what to do next. I think subconsiously I’m trying to create more good memories.
Hoping for the best…planning for the worst.